Life IS what YOU make it!

My beautiful mum used to always say to me.."Leigh, life is what you make it". To be honest, it used to annoy me.  I didnt quite understand what she meant and I took it as a bit of a dig at my poor attitude (which it probably was..).  I understand now.  Im older and a little wiser and I have had to make a choice in life.. Do I just go into foetal position and give up or do I fight like buggery and make the best of what I have.. I chose the latter.

Currently, as I focus on seeing the good side to everything, there is a battle going on, one that's been going for 6 months now and still shows no sign of resolving itself.  It has done damage to me personally, to my marriage, to my family and to my ability to trust.  Not just my distrust in the two disgraceful people who created this mess but also in people I thought I could lean on.  People that I valued as friends and even family.  People who I believed would stand by my family and I with broad shoulders and be there for us as we fight tooth and nail.  I guess for some, life's big challenges are too much to take on board... Im disappointed but Im moving on..

At this stage, we have no clarity, we still believe that good people come out of these situations on top, we hope that financially we dont get torn apart. (If you are wondering what Im garbaging on about, basically, back in August, my husband worked for a man who decided to put the company into Liquidation, he fled with his wife and due to things my husband had signed in the past, he left us to carry all of the companies debt..... LOTS OF IT!  So, we have a big, BIG fight on our hands...) Im scared, Im worried, Im very nervous.... Im often so wound up by this mess that I get tight in the chest and find it hard to catch my breath.... BUT.....

....... 'Life is what you make it'...

And I can either choose to wake up every morning feeling defeated and depressed and bring everyone around me down and wallow in self-pity all because of something I have no control over OR I can wake up every morning and put aside the issues that I cant fix and choose to enjoy my days.  Life is tough, I know that, believe me (!!) but its a hell of a lot tougher if you allow it to weigh you down.  I have moments where I just want to yell and scream at the unfairness of it all but where will it get me?  What will my sadness do to my kids? What effect would negativity have on my marriage?  I can tell you, from past experience, it is not pretty.  I succumbed to this way of living a few months ago and just could not rise above it.  I was just so damn sad, so disappointed, so scared.. But I had to get out of that way of thinking and lighten up. I had to dig my way out of that dark hole.  For myself and my family.  Now, if I think too much about our situation I still get a bit flustered but I try not to focus on it.  Theres nothing I can do personally to fix it so I might as well not spend my time worrying about it.

Mum was right.  Life is what you make it.  I try to make mine fun and worthwhile.  There will always be challenges.  Life will continue to throw curve balls, or learning curves, depending on how you look at them..  Im choosing to keep my life in a healthy balance and refuse to let this horrible situation define who I am, who we are.  I am placing importance on quality time, family fun, remaining connected to my husband and my children, continuing to make exciting plans....  We stand to lose a lot, but we will still have each other..   This challenge wont beat me.

So, today, more than most days, I am really focusing on the good.  An important meeting is taking place that will determine our stance in all of this mess and our plan of attack.  Today's meeting has been a LONG time coming and with everything crossed, Im am hoping so hard that we have a chance to reclaim what is ours and dish out some desperately deserved Karma!  Today (although full of uncertainty) is a beautiful day and I will enjoy it. I will stop and soak in the magic and at the end I will pour myself a nice glass of wine and reflect...... on the good...


Much love,

Linking up with Essentially Jess today for IBOT