You know those moments when your child is walking towards you with an adult and she looks sternly at you from 100 meters away and he looks so white you would think that he has not seen the sun in years and you are thinking 'oh dear lord, this does not look good'.......well, I had that moment today.
So, we were at our local Little Athletics meet. Ive joined recently to help build the confidence of my second born who needs to step outside his comfort zone and try new things. Ive included my third born as he is very sporty, its right up his alley BUT he certainly needs no help in the confidence area! Because of their differences, I stand with the second born more to enocourage him along, and check in every so often with no.3 to make sure all is well....... clearly, after today, Im not paying enough attention to no.3!!!
As they approached, I said to my friend 'Oh this is not good.......', I was right
So the lady said...... (eyes burning into my soul)..... "Are you Josh's mum?". I admit, I had that split second thought of 'I don't know if I am or not for this one.......' but I said "yeeeeeeeeeeess..." nervously. She said "can I have a word with you please". "Oh, ok", I responded in a hesitant manner. "I thought you might like to know that I have given Josh 4 warnings about his behaviour today and he has not taken me seriously so I asked him where his mum or dad was". "Oh" I said... "what has he done?" I glared at him now thinking 'oh my lord, here it comes..... brace yourself mumma bear, no ones perfect.....' "Well" she said, "he has been having inappropriate discussions and swearing." "Oh, what has he been saying?" I asked. "Do you really want to know?" she said. "Well, yes, if I don't know then I cant deal with it correctly" I said. "Well he has been talking about penises and saying things like 'bullshit'". "Oh", I said... "Im so sorry, that is disgusting. Thank you for letting me know, Ill deal with him". "Yes, please do, we don't allow such revolting behaviour here..." she sternly reinforced. "I understand", I said, feeling as though she must think this is how we roll in my family.... I do have 4 boys after all, surely I am out of control!!??! Anyway, she stormed off and I let him have it!
Im so disappointed in him. I don't condone that kind of crude behaviour and if I see others being so disgusting, Ill admit, Im one of those people who stand back and thank god the my kids aren't like that...... Now I realise, they can be like that and I have to reiterate our rules and morals and what we expect from them..... Man, this parenting gig is hard! Times like these make me wonder..... what came first, being a parent or the invention of alcohol...?
Right now he is cleaning his room. That is no easy task. It is foul. He is clearing out all of the junk that he and his brother have been secretly shoving under their beds and he is putting things back where they belong. After he has finished that I am sure I can find another job for him. And another, and another..... In fact, if you have any odd jobs needing done today, mail me.... I know someone who would be perfect for it! We have had quite an in depth discussion about what is right and what is wrong. We have made it clear that if he cant behave appropriately in a group then he will not begin his first year of football this year... Something he has been waiting about 3 years for! I am hoping that as his parent, I have re-set the guidelines and he understands them clearly. I blame myself to a point, we have been so pre-occupied with lawyers, horrible people and legal battles, all the while trying to maintain a healthy marriage through it all, I guess we have relaxed our rules somewhat. Oh well, no-ones perfect!
So that was my morning! Surely my day can only get better yes? I did come out of today proud however.... My confidence - challenged boy cleared the high jump and came 4th in the 800 metre run, blisters on his toe and all!
Aaaaah, the peaks and troughs of motherhood!!!
Tell me Im not alone in mothering mortification......... c'mon sistas, fess up so I can feel better!
Much love,
I think kids who NEVER test the boundaries and NEVER step out of line probably need more confidence and are going to be less prepared to life than the kids who do.
ReplyDeleteYes it's cringy, and you wanna dissapear before the frowning authority figure of doom comes down on you for being a terrible parent - but you're not a terrible parent, your child is giving it a go to see what's going to fly. They'll use that feedback to build their map of what behaviour is OK, ground breaking and cool, and what was actually just them being a bit silly. They'll never learn to make those calculations if they don't futz it up a little in the beginning.
Fabulous comment! Great advice!!! I guess if they learn from their actions then it worthwhile... Still mortifying tho! xx
DeleteDon't be too embarrassed, it is a good lesson for him to learn early on about appropriate behavior. One of my children got in big trouble for swearing, but he has learnt not to get in trouble again for it ;)
ReplyDeleteAlso - I think sometimes those Little A ladies are a bit unfair.
xx
Yes, he has definately learned his lesson. Hes still keeping very busy!!! xx ps. I admit, some Little A ladies are very hard core arent they...!
DeleteSeriously I think its abnormal for primary school boys not to talk about penises and say things like bullshit.
ReplyDeleteOh you have made me laugh!!! I do agree though! In my home the over abundance of penises is something I can't avoid and it is often a natural topic of discussion.... I'm not sure of the context however he used today... I'm guessing it wasnt very G rated...? Maybe there's a time and a place.. That's the lesson he learned today! Xx
ReplyDeleteI think you're being way to hard on yourself and your son. It is very clear from reading your blog that you are a wonderful mother. I think the woman sounded completely up her self - who tells off another persons child 4 times? surely she should have found you rather than stepping in herself. Bullshit isn't such a terrible word and as for penises, I'm sure that that is a totally normal topic of conversation for a little boy.
ReplyDeleteIn all honesty I wouldn't have taken any nonsense from this woman. She had no right talking to you like that she should have spoken to you with respect given you the facts and basically said you deal with it! She seemed really condescending and judgemental so I understand why you're mortified!
ReplyDeleteParenting is hafd enough without these biddies making us feel worse about it lol
Oh man that must have been just horrible - but you know he could have been much worse, at least he was just talking cheeky/dirty and not bullying, teasing etc. If you felt humiliated it's because you're a great mum, but as our kids grow they become harder and harder to control and I bet even the 'best' kids out there let loose occasionally. I hope your weekend got better. Emily x
ReplyDeleteI think if they had to ask him over and over to stop it then its very wrong, yes i know boys can talk like that but when an adult in authority gives a direction a child should show respect and obey.
ReplyDeleteUnless of course its to do something wrong.
What did he say about it when questioned as to why he was doing it ?
Do you work ?
if so what about after school care does anything happen there ?
I absolutely agree with you Mel, hence why I was mortified. He had no answer as to why he behaved that way, just being silly and naughty! No I dont work so there is no after school care plus thankfully, this sort of behaviour is rare. Thanks for your comment x
ReplyDelete