My Heart. My Soul. My Biggest Dream of all..... My Book...

I have a BIG dream that I hope to accomplish this year.  A Book.  I have mentioned it before and at times the emotion involved in creating this dream becomes so overwhelming that I have to put it away..... But then it rears its head and I tinker away.  

My mother dying was a turning point in my life.  It marked the end of looking at the glass half empty and re-creating who I was and everything I stood for.  It taught me lessons that I still live by and will never take for granted.  It gave me an opportunity to seek out what I wanted most from my own precious life and chase my desires.  It has given me a chance to share my lessons with you, if you are willing to listen.

Therefore, I hope to complete my book this year, and more so, I hope you want to read it!

Here is a sneak peak.......

'I walked down the long, sterile, cold corridor with my eyes fixed on mum’s door.  I was nervous, confused, exhausted, and devastated.   I slowly opened the door, apprehensive about what I was going to see.  Mum was lying in the bed with the blankets pulled up high, her arms neatly tucked in.  A rolled up face washer was placed under her chin to keep her jaw closed and  on her large tumour filled tummy were some framed photos that sat in her room and a long stemmed flower from one of the many bunches throughout the room. It did look strange.  She would not have approved at all.  I guess though, it breaks the overall doom and gloom of the scene.  More importantly though, again mum was not ‘there’.  I sat next to the bed staring at her face.  Etching in my memory her skin tone, her ear shape, her wrinkles.   It hit home that this was to be the last time that I could look at my mum.  The way her hair always parted in the same place.  The curves around her mouth. Those kind eyes.  It was very surreal.  My mind was beginning to play tricks on me and I was seeing her move. I had to keep reminding myself that this was not a possibility... I told her that I loved her, I already missed her and that I hoped she was happy with everything I had done for her.  I wondered where she was.  Who was she with.  What new adventure had she begun... Without us.  Without me.... I knew the time had come to say my final goodbye... Reluctantly and broken hearted. With that I stood up, leaned over and gave her already black, cold lips a kiss.'

Writing a book is a massive task, it consumes your thoughts and creativity strikes at the most inconvenient of times times but I have to keep plugging away....

If all that comes out of this is a book for my boys to reflect on, then I am one happy mumma.... But I do hope you might be keen to take a look too.....

Much love,