Struggle Street..

Tuesday, February 26, 2013
It is my intention to keep this space positive, sunny and happy.  But as we know, life has a way of slapping you down like some kind of hurricane storm and you have days where you are just laid out flat! Its natural, its nothing to be ashamed of.... its called 'being human'.  And as I want to be an honest blogger and someone that you might relate with, Im not going to make you think that I have all of the answers or the perfect life..... FAR FROM IT!!!! 

I sit here, watching the rain pour down, the sky is grey.  Beautifully grey after so many hot, intense days.  My yellow, burnt grass is getting an absolute soaking, as is the tree my mum planted in her yard, that I relocated and spread her ashes under. 

 The leaves on the trees are hanging lower than Ive seen in a long time, weighed down by the pressure of the falling rain...... I can relate. I too feel very heavy today.  Its a perfect day for me to hibernate at home and just slowly and calmly go about my business.

Im on struggle street.  Im forgetful, one of my poor kids has been walking around with a hole in his shoe for weeks and I simply just keep forgetting to get him new ones. That's my honest excuse.  Terrible isn't it.  He got out of the car this morning as I dropped him at school and after I cautioned him about the puddles he reminded me of the hole in his shoe and my heart just sank.  Once he was out, I cried.  I had failed...... again.

My pre-teen is challenging us.  Its natural as he is changing but Im not comfortable with it.  Its the kind of stuff that makes you think that a long drive in the car... like for consecutive days.... might just be what you need.  Just to sort it all out.

Im desperate for some time alone with my husband.  A night away.  Just to be with him and no one else. To laugh and have some fun........ its been too long.

My head is just so FULL of thoughts, what if's and why's..... everything else tends to be left on the back burner!

None of the pressure that I am feeling would be as bad if our lives were not tainted by Mr&Mrs A**hole, I know this but its hard to keep up the energy and the motions after such a long and still ongoing battle.  I do try to put it into perspective.  I do know that there are far worse problems in the world.  I am grateful that this will be something that we can move on from.  Its the betrayal that keeps knocking me over though.  That two people could do this, happily...... to us.  I cant process it.  I guess I never will...

So, what's my plan of attack with this slump in my mojo.......?

Well, Im going to write a list of priorities today... Starting with new shoes for my son!  
Im going to bake some yummy muffins and cookies and surprise my boys after school.
Im going to clean as I feel better when my house is shiny.
Im going to sit with my scrummy boy and watch his beloved Teletubbies.
Im going to create a time-table for myself so the important, necessary jobs start getting priority..
Im going to focus on being calm and quiet.... and enjoy it.

Today is one of those days but there is always tomorrow and Im sure by then, Ill feel much better. And if I dont, well as I said, Im only human and its OK to feel like this occaisionally.  We all fall flat.  Its how we choose to rise back up thats important..

How do you get back on top of it all when you feel low?

Much love,

Today I am linking up with Essentially Jess for IBOT


  1. Ah Leigh, so sorry to hear life is a bit low at the moment. It does sound like you do a little what I use some blog posts to do, vent, recalibrate and set yourself straight to achieve what you know you've been meaning to do for a while. Keep doing what you're doing your heart is totally in the right place :) xxx

    1. Thanks Pip. Writing is my therapy. Once I put it out there, I start to pick myself up. xx

  2. It's really good that you're able to identify the key issues and try to make a list of ways that you can turn some of it around. Some things are unfortunately just out of our control, but you're showing great resilience not to sink into a complete pit of despair. And never beat yourself up for something like a hole in a shoe! Kids need SOMETHING every single day of their lives and we all do our best to keep them clean, safe, dressed, fed etc - it's OK to drop the ball now and then. Good luck :)

    1. I know, its hard to keep up the pace! Especially with 4 kids!!! Trying to stay strong.. so hard xxx

  3. I read.

    Any story about someone who has endured more than me is guaranteed to get me off struggle street. Perspective is a beautiful thing, when we can get our hands on it.


    1. Same Kacie. Less blogging and more reading I think for me. Get that perspective back on track xxxx

  4. I love that you have a plan of attack - it's a good one. I'm with you unfortunately on that street today, about two doors down. But, I write. And then I find something that makes me laugh. Usually, then, I feel a bit better.
    Hope tomorrow is sunny.

  5. my son needs new shoes too! there aren't holes in his per se, but they're definitely on the way out. my problem is we always buy from kmart and i don't think they're doing his feet any good, but I resent paying massive amounts for shoes he'll grow out of so quickly! sending you love and hugs today. be kind to yourself. make those lists, and just take things one step at a time. xo Aroha

  6. Hugs to you ... I've been living in Struggle St for a couple of years now though I'm slowly starting to spend more and more time in a better address!!!

  7. It is totally OK to feel like that hun. Cut yourself some slack and take some time to just be lovely xx

  8. You're totally allowed the pity party for one - sometimes it helps. Struggle street sucks and sometimes you wonder when will it get easier because as kids grow they get more costly - hang in there Leigh, xx


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